Things I’ve learned from watching “COPS”

This is a short list of things I’ve learned from watching COPS:

Never run from the police. On second thought, ALWAYS run from the police.

Check your pockets. There’s a really good chance that’s there’s a bunch of crack that you had no idea was there.

All prostitutes are men in drag.

All men in drag are prostitutes.

Turns out, drunk people are a bit of a public nuisance.

PCP stands for Please Call the Police. This substance is responsible for more naked rampages than anything else in the history of naked rampages.

Cops like tasering people as much as you like watching cops taser people.

There is nothing on earth more disgusting than getting slammed face first into the street during New Orleans Mardi Gras. I’d rather drink Rush Limbaugh’s bath water.

About Dan Rumer

Dan Rumer is a professional drum tech and amatuer asshole residing in Henderson, NV. He enjoys cheap food, expensive beer and his cat, Optimus Prime. View all posts by Dan Rumer

2 responses to “Things I’ve learned from watching “COPS”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: