Everyone needs a hobby, and I have several:
Wiener Skating – I skate around town on two roided out dachshunds that I tie to my feet.
Civil War Re-reenactments – I get together with friends to reenact the harrowing events that occurred at previous civil war reenactments.
Book Fighting – I’ve been known to yell “BOOK FIGHT!!” at my local library and start chucking books at people.
Lawn Jungling – Sometimes I’ll take my lawnmower and put it in the shed and then don’t touch it for a year.
Bjorkeling – Snorkeling with Bjork, obviously.
Crapbooking – For years I’ve been keeping a photo album of my more respectable bowel movements.
Day Nightmaring – Occasionally, I’ll day dream about getting murdered in a tutu at my high school graduation.
Hamsterbating – You don’t wanna know.
Land Fishing – When my neighbor parks his boat in the driveway, I like to sit in it and get drunk. It’s pretty much exactly like real fishing, only there’s no risk of drowning.