Bjorkeling, Hamsterbating, and other ways I occupy my time.

Everyone needs a hobby, and I have several:

Wiener Skating – I skate around town on two roided out dachshunds that I tie to my feet.

Civil War Re-reenactments – I get together with friends to reenact the harrowing events that occurred at previous civil war reenactments.

Book Fighting – I’ve been known to yell “BOOK FIGHT!!” at my local library and start chucking books at people.

Lawn Jungling – Sometimes I’ll take my lawnmower and put it in the shed and then don’t touch it for a year.

Bjorkeling – Snorkeling with Bjork, obviously.

Crapbooking – For years I’ve been keeping a photo album of my more respectable bowel movements.

Day Nightmaring – Occasionally, I’ll day dream about getting murdered in a tutu at my high school graduation.

Hamsterbating – You don’t wanna know.

Land Fishing – When my neighbor parks his boat in the driveway, I like to sit in it and get drunk. It’s pretty much exactly like real fishing, only there’s no risk of drowning.


About Dan Rumer

Dan Rumer is a professional drum tech and amatuer asshole residing in Henderson, NV. He enjoys cheap food, expensive beer and his cat, Optimus Prime. View all posts by Dan Rumer

4 responses to “Bjorkeling, Hamsterbating, and other ways I occupy my time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: