Category Archives: hobbies

Bjorkeling, Hamsterbating, and other ways I occupy my time.

Everyone needs a hobby, and I have several:

Wiener Skating – I skate around town on two roided out dachshunds that I tie to my feet.

Civil War Re-reenactments – I get together with friends to reenact the harrowing events that occurred at previous civil war reenactments.

Book Fighting – I’ve been known to yell “BOOK FIGHT!!” at my local library and start chucking books at people.

Lawn Jungling – Sometimes I’ll take my lawnmower and put it in the shed and then┬ádon’t touch it for a year.

Bjorkeling – Snorkeling with Bjork, obviously.

Crapbooking – For years I’ve been keeping a photo album of my more respectable bowel movements.

Day Nightmaring – Occasionally, I’ll day dream about getting murdered in a tutu at my high school graduation.

Hamsterbating – You don’t wanna know.

Land Fishing – When my neighbor parks his boat in the driveway, I like to sit in it and get drunk. It’s pretty much exactly like real fishing, only there’s no risk of drowning.

Advertisements

%d bloggers like this: